It's OK Not To Be OK
I haven’t felt great lately. I'm in the middle of one of my worst flare ups right now. There's really no rhyme or reason for these flare ups, sometimes it just happens. I try to keep positive most of the time, but chronic illness isn't something that you forget you have and life goes on... It's a daily battle for your brain to tell your body that we have to function today. Sure, it could always be worse and other people definitely have it worse. But, I can only speak for myself.
When I first was diagnosed, I was so relieved. For someone to tell me that it wasn't all in my head was the most vindicating thing. That feeling is something that I had to hold on to for a while, because after the diagnosis it's a roller coaster of emotions. Autoimmune diseases in general are hard to treat because doctors do not know what causes or triggers them. In my case, I'd been expecting my diagnosis since I was 16 and the lump first developed on my neck. Still, there are medications to stabilize hormone levels, but not to rid me of my symptoms.
I have suffered from all of these one time or another, but the bold ones I suffer from all the time.
Allergies (new and worsening)
Chronic sinus infections (sinus headaches & pressure)
Cold body temperature
Extreme PMS symptoms
Goiter (enlarged thyroid)
Hair problems (loss on head and outer edge of eyebrows)
HeadachesHearing difficulties (ear ringing and hearing loss)
Muscle and joint aches
Weight gain That's a lot to deal with sometimes. I mean I'm only 23 years old. The hardest part though, is that it's mostly invisible. You can see the weight gain and the rashes and the goiter, and maybe even the hair loss, but most of the time, it's just me.
The point of all of that was not to complain, (okay, maybe a little bit), but to tell you other chronic illness sufferers that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I FEEL YOU. I understand your pain and grief and silent suffering. I wish I could say that it gets better - I really don't know if it does. But I will say that you will have many good days! Make sure you take advantage of them.